Ash: I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why I don’t have a boyfriend. I mean I’m the freaking total package intelligent, beautiful, lovely smile, kind, humble… need I go on? Well this morning I woke up and decided today was the day, what I couldn’t find by stalking USF’s football stars I would buy. Have any of you ever heard of a company which specializes in mail order husbands? If so PLZ send us a link in a comment! Other than a couple joke websites and one for gay men in the U.S.; there aren’t any websites that will let me handpick my husband and drop him off on my doorstep. I’m really not asking for much, only a man who enjoys cooking/cleaning and looks like the bastard love child of Taye Diggs and Shamar Moore.
See???!! I can be very reasonable! Instead of ranting about the disturbingly widespread sexist mindset that prevents the distribution of necessary goods (mail order husbands) I decided to be pro-active. Thus if there are any eligible young men interested you may apply below however it’s only fair to warn you….. one day this could be us…
TK: When will women cease to be at the greatest disadvantage in the civil world?
Since men are no longer reliable women have no choice but to go to school for a higher education and pave their own way to good paying careers to provide ourselves with the lifestyles to which we plan to become accustomed to. Women are taking strides to take over positions that require extensive schooling/training and once attained, the positions require great amounts of time and dedication.
Positions
Doctor: minimum of 4yrs for B.S. + 4 yrs M.D. 3-4 yrs of Residency
Nurse Practitioner : minimum of 4 yrs for B.S. + 2 yrs M.S.
Company CEO: 4 year B.A. + 2 yr M.B.A.
Women like myself who have dedicated most of their time to reaching their educational and professional goals and have little to no time to shift through the game playing, cheating bastards only to buck up on the no account losers with 7 illegitimate children by 6 of equal to lesser value than the other!
And then we waste months of our lives getting to know a man the wholesome way only to accidentally find out this jackass lives in his mamma's basement, can't read past a 4th grade level and his greatest achievement in life is his comic book/ video-game/ action-figure/shoe collection(s)!!!!
*DEEP BREATH*
What makes people think that men are the only ones who desire the option of shopping for a mate from home rather than having to go through the audition process of dating. The idea of looking through a catalog of men w/ characteristics/ likes/ dislikes/ attributes/ relevant skills listed all in one place & the power to choose one to my liking and the convenience of having him arrive on my doorstep fully prepared for what I expect from a husband ....... dish washing, house cleaning, laundry, child rearing, and of course preforming his husbandly duties! ;]
